Onesimus

I remember Fr Alan telling us about Onesimus. Fr Alan said, "Onesimus means useful."

Onesimus was a slave of Philemon, and he was accused of stealing from Philemon, and Onesimus ran away, went to Rome, met St Paul, heard the preaching of Christ, repented, became a Christian, and St Paul sent Onesimus back to Philemon with a letter, asking Philemon to forgive Onesimus and accept him as a brother in Christ.

WOW!

Only Christians can do this! And all three - Paul, Onesimus and Philemon all became saints.

This is really a story about repentance and during Lent, we are all called to repent.

Some people are averse to hearing, "Repent and believe in the Gospel." Why? I suppose this type of people think they are living a Christian life and do not have any sins and what is there to repent and believe in the Gospel, when this type of people already believe in the Gospel.

Well, all I can say is that it is not easy to repent and believe in the Gospel. Let us take this Sunday's Gospel from Luke 14: 25 - 33.

Jesus asks us to hate our mother, father, husband, wife, son, daughter, brothers, sisters and ourselves and be his disciple. Can you really do this? Many people are scandalised by this!

Then on verse 33, Jesus says, none of you can be my disciple unless he gives up all his possessions. Can you really give up ALL of your possessions and be a follower of Christ. 

Fr Alan said, "Christians are not called to be poor."  So what does this mean? Fr Alan taught us that we must not be attached to our possessions and money, and be free with these.

Fr Alan told us a story about himself. He wanted to go to the seminary and he was the only son. His grandmother called him to her room and showed him all her money in a trunk and told Fr Alan that if he were to give up the idea of going to the seminary, he could have all of his grandmother's money. At that point, Fr Alan said he had to hate his grandmother. WHY? He had to hate the idea of his grandmother tempting him not to go to the seminary. Of course he went to the seminary and left all his possessions and followed Jesus.

When his parents visited him after a year or two later when he was in the seminary, Fr ALan's mother was so upset when she saw his room. Fr Alan's room, which is called a cell, was bare, like Pope Benedict's room in the Vatican when he was the reigning Pope.

Why? This is because both Fr Alan and Pope Benedict have given up their possessions and turned to God. 

Fr Alan said one Lent, "To repent means to have a metanoia." Metanoia means to change one's way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.  And for those people who find the concept of sin difficult to contemplate and to "repent and believe in the Gospel" does not apply to them, then perhaps they could think about repentance means to have a metanoia - to change one's way of life, turn to Jesus and have a deeper relationship with Him. 

Almighty Father, remove our pride and the lie of the Devil, making us think we are perfect Christians, who do not sin or do not have any need of repentance. Teach us the real meaning of metanoia, turn to you and look only at you, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

Sin

I used to do a church crawl in London finding for a place where I could worship. I noticed that many priests were afraid to talk about sin, the devil, hell, punishment and Fr Alan never had any problems talking about these topics.

I found Ogle Street in the early 1990's with a number of my friends and we used to drive in a convoy from West London to Central London each Sunday to listen to Fr Alan preaching the most wonderful sermons, calling us to turn to Jesus and to lead a Christian life.

We all loved his sermons and how he used to make the readings from the Bible alive for all of us.

So what did Fr Alan say about sin?

Fr Alan talked about private, public, habitual sins. 

So if I were to sit there thinking of someone leaving half his food on his plate and how he has robbed the starving by wasting food, then I have committed a private sin, judging this person with my heart, and other people who not have known about this. 

If I were to cause a sandal by stealing someone's husband, than that sin would be public and everybody would know about it.

As for private sin, nobody would know about it and I could have sinned, and rot away like Lazarus who had died, buried and was rotten when Jesus called him out of his grave. In another word, I could have sinned privately, rotten to the core and nobody would know about it, until Jesus calls me to repent. 

However, both private and public sins have consequences and these sins damage us, the sinner, and other people around us.

Fr Alan also talked habitual sins, which were sins which we could not get rid of - such as gambling, taking drugs, watching ponography, masterbating and some of these sins could be private sins, where nobody would know that one has committed such sins, but nevertheless these sins would cause self damage and also to those around us. 

Allan Wing reminded me that Fr Alan said, "Some people finds it difficult to cut with their sins because the sins are pleasurable [as in enjoyable]."  I believe only God can call us out of this type of pleasurable sin by doing something big in our lives and giving us a huge shock. This could be in a form of "punishment".

Fr Alan used to say, "You will be punished!"  What does punishment mean? God punishes us by calling us to order because he loves us. God is trying to redeem us from our bad ways of hurting other people or ourselves, and God puts something shocking in our lives so we can change and make a cut with our sins. God does this completely out of love. God our Father is a good parent, and like good parents, God disciplines us, so we can grow closer towards him and love him more and stop sinning.

Fr Alan also said, "Some people think sexual sins are the worst sins." Fr Alan said, "The worst sins are those pertaining to money."  

Fr Alan used to tell us about how families would split up because of a Will. Family members would fight over money and how money could drive some people to do very strange things. This is why avarice is one of the seven deadly sins. 

However, do remember of God's mercy and God is always merciful and all of these sins could be forgiven. 

So, go to confession and ask for forgivenss and even before you walk into the box, God has already forgiven your sin. 

What I like about going to Fr Alan for confession was that he could tell me my sins, and he would also explain to me why I have committed these sins and how I could avoid committing these sins. I suppose Fr Alan knew me very well.

I remembered on one Holy Saturday morning when a group of us had just finished cleaning the church to get ready for the great feast of Easter. Fr Alan came to me and told me to stop eating junk food. How did know I had been eating convenience food and eating out frequently?  I felt Fr Alan could see through me. I never told Fr Alan about my eating habits. With that remark from Fr Alan, I could walk away from destroying my body and began eating healthy. 

Only grace from God can help all of us not to sin again. Do not be afraid of our sinful nature. God loves us with all our sins. Just ask from God the grace not to sin again.

I am going to give you the advice which Fr Alan gave to me when I used to go to confession with him.  Fr Alan would say to me, "Be kind to yourself. Throw yourself onto the Throne of Mercy." 

So throw yourself onto the Throne of Mercy and be kind and gentle to yourself. Remember God is love and mercy. 

And finally, there is nothing to be ashamed of that we are all sinners. I think it is very cool to pray for the Word of God to act as a mirror to show us our sins. 

Almighty and ever living God, thank you for your love and mercy, always forgiving me. Please give me the grace not to sin again. Amen.